woman sitting on brown stone near green leaf trees at daytime

By Deepti Singh

The 90 Second Rule By Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor says, “When a person reacts to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.

Something happens in the external world, and chemicals are flushed through your body, which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to flush out of the body it takes less than 90 seconds. This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away. After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking – that is re-stimulating the circuitry – that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again”.

They say anger is not good for health, as one minute of anger can weaken our immune system for 4-5 hours. However, we do tend to get involved and upset over situations, upon which we have little or no control. As a meditation practitioner, I have been using mindfulness practices and meditation techniques to deal with life challenges for quite some time, and today, I would like to share this little wisdom that I have gathered over time. 


Before we start, let us first understand what Mindfulness is, “Mindfulness is being present at the moment, without being judgmental of our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It is in the deeper understanding, and a well-rounded approach towards a situation, that we learn to be more gentle, forgiving, and empathetic towards ourselves and others.”


Accepting a situation is half the battle won. Before we even start to think about our next course of action, it is important to simply breathe! and let go. Accepting the fact that whatever had to happen, has happened, should be our first response to a situation, which conceivably helps to get hold of oneself. 


To regain our balanced state of mind, self-healing is important. I call this phase as, “TIME OUT” phase, where I choose to get into my hermit mode, and detox from any negative emotions I had been harboring inside. I do nothing, but simply allow the thoughts to come and go.


Any unpleasant circumstance can trigger our negative emotions. These emotions can get the best of us, sometimes leaving us to behave totally out of character. However, after a while, when be reflect upon the situation, we start looking at things from a different perspective.


To clear the burdening toxic energies of an unpleasant situation, the most important virtue is forgiveness. Forgiving yourself and those involved will bring more freedom. Forgiveness is achieved by empathetic intelligence, which is gained by putting yourselves in other people’s shoes.


Every situation is trying to teach us something. Sometimes you learn how resilient you are or how much you can handle with grace and dignity. Maybe, we did need a lesson at that particular moment in time, so learn and evolve.  


Once you’ve healed or are still in the process of healing, it is important to consider the essential driving factors of your life. Once you get a clear perspective, you may find that this whole situation might have turned out to be an opportunity in disguise. It may have realigned you with your soul purpose.

Healing takes time. It may take days or even months to come out of a difficult or unpleasant experience based upon the intensity with which you’ve felt it. So be gentle on yourself. Energy Healing meditation can be helpful if you are into meditation. However, if you aren’t into mediation, channelize your hurt or pain into creating something beautiful, instead of being self-destructive. Look at the situation as your transformative process. Try to keep yourself occupied/distracted with work, exercise, and learning. Besides, the best way to deal with any hurt is to evolve into a better version of yourself.

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